Resilience Reflections

'Letting Go' is a Resilience Practice

The catchy lyric, “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you are never going to keep me down”, from the song Tubthumping by Chumbawamba, offers a positive mantra that reminds us to not give up and to remain steadfast despite challenges, or to be resilient. Like these lyrics, we think of practicing resilience as staying focused on and bouncing back from a challenge or obstacle. Another way to practice resilience is to let go of something that is no longer tenable or a positive focus. This allows us to pursue a new purpose, goal, or path by releasing whatever is holding us back.

Is there a difference between letting go and giving up? Definitely. Letting go offers a way to take control by seeing new opportunities instead of perseverating on what used to be, whether a place, relationship, or career. Quitting is synonymous for giving up, which happens because one believes they are powerless to do anything about the circumstances and do not see a path forward. Realistic resilience includes both perseverance toward a greater goal in the face of adversity and letting go of things that no longer serve us while finding a new purpose. 

A student may ‘let go’ of becoming a medical doctor after repeated rejections from medical school. They may instead choose to become a nurse practitioner or psychologist to fulfill a desire to help people. Asha Phillips suffered a devastating knee injury while performing a gymnastics routine when she was 16. Rather than giving up on being an athlete, she chose to let go of being a gymnast and pursued running instead. Through skill, dedication, support, and tenacity she became an Olympic medal sprinter within a few years of the injury.  Letting go of our fear of failure is the only way to become better.

Have you let go of something and chosen a different path? Are you thinking of letting go of a relationship, job, or something else? Whether working through a current challenge, letting go of the past, or focusing on new beginnings, consider these tips:

Learn from past mistakes without dwelling on them.  

-      What worked well? What didn’t?

-      What can be better or improved?

Set an intention or goal. What do you want? What do you not want?

-      I do want new career and more life balance.

-      I don’t want poor health.

Stay compassionate toward yourself.

-      Be comfortable with imperfection.

-      Reframe negative self-talk.

Develop strategies that to help you get there. What will it take?

-      A skill or degree for a new career.

-      Counseling or exercise to manage stress.

Celebrate small victories along the way.

-      Break down bigger goals into smaller ones.

-      Encourage and reward yourself.

                  “There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” - C.S. Lewis