Resilience Reflections

Spring is around the corner. This had me thinking about the need to get back into a regular exercise routine after an extended Winter hiatus and about DiClemente & Prochaska's Stages of Change Model, a framework for making a positive change when you want to stop a negative behavior or replace it.  The stages include precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance, followed by relapse or termination of the model. Including ‘relapse’ within the framework normalizes setbacks a part of life rather than a permanent failure. It pertains to any type of lapse in practicing a behavior, regardless of how long one has maintained it. For example, someone who gave up soda for health reasons might lapse into drinking soda again and then stop drinking soda again after revisiting the stage of contemplation and preparation before moving to the action of not drinking soda.

Acknowledging that relapse can happen even after positive change has been established and maintained allows individuals to not feel defeated when and if this happens. It leads to more success by viewing this lapse as a temporary state that can change. It also helps one be more self-compassionate when we do have a setback, whether due to a change in circumstance or because of a momentary lapse of judgement. Lasting change requires self-efficacy, or having a sense of some control over one’s environment and behavior even while some things are not in our control. Consideration of the situation one wants to change and moving through the stages to prepare before taking any action is an example of having self-efficacy.

Regardless of how well prepared or how long we have engaged in a positive behavior in our lives, we may lapse from time to time. For example, this may happen when someone who was sober for 7 years has a relapse. They may give up trying to stay sober or see it as a relapse that they can come back from, allowing them to choose sobriety again more readily. Are you contemplating starting the exercise routine that you stopped doing 8 months ago, or are you preparing to start going back to the gym after a one-month hiatus? Perhaps you have been contemplating making a change, such as walking at least 3 miles per day. The next step is to contemplate what that would look like in reality. Perhaps it means preparing by changing your work schedule or breaking up the walk into two shorter walks.  Whatever change you are pondering, knowing that it’s okay to falter when you do make the change allows us the compassionate grace and time needed to take time to refocus and to start a habit again.

"Part of abandoning the all-or-nothing mentality is allowing yourself room for setbacks. We are bound to have lapses on the road to health and wellness, but it is critical that we learn how to handle small failures positively so that we can minimize their long-term destructive effects. One setback is one setback—it is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of your journey toward a better you." - Jillian Michaels